Things Overheard During the Holidays:

Isn’t it funny how people say things during the Holidays that they would not normally say?  A nice warm fire, a few Mill Streets or Rye and Cokes, and the conversation always becomes exciting.  Part of the charm of gathering with extended family is that people feel comfortable to get on their soapboxes and spew whatever crazy talk that comes to mind.   Entertaining as it is, I think I would not want to have them over much more than once a year.  There were some classic conversation gems that I can share with you though.  During one of the many dinner table conversations this holiday season, my family began to go on about  the merits of GPS and ON-Star navigation systems.  My mother-in-law received a GPS for Christmas and was so excited to get it going.  After two tech-savvy men attempted to get it working for her, she was finally able to try it out.   The classic line from one of them was:  “Why is it that the voice on the GPS is always a woman’s?  They are the ones that need the GPS in the first place.”  I found it more ironic as he has one in each of his vehicles.  I always love it when politics comes up.  One of my wife’s cousins is not that worldly, and demonstrated it clearly as he ranted that he was glad he didn’t vote for Obama.  The better part was when his wife admitted she did not vote for him either, and “thank-goodness because of all the money he would be draining from the already overtaxed Americans”.  It was a ‘natural’ segue into the Ontario Teacher’s strike.  There was one in attendance so I nestled in with a fresh pint to hear this debate set itself on fire.  I was disappointed to learn from this same cousin, that somehow, the Teacher’s union and the NHLPA were closely linked and fighting for the same rights and pension concerns.  As the spiked eggnog flowed and the Crown drained away, I learned that apparently Rob Ford is not doing a good job running the province either.  Who needs the CBC when you can get updates like this directly from your dining room table.  This was another great segue as the cousins began discussing the World Juniors and Spengler Cup.  One relative shared how glad she was to see the NHL strike was settled and thrilled that they were playing again – such exciting hockey this holiday!  The time of the games was really upsetting though, and she hoped it would get back to the regular time slots soon.  They figured the increase in foreign advertising on the rinks and jerseys must have been a way for the owner’s to get more money.  She was okay with it as long as the NHL was back to playing hockey.  I poured them all another drink which made everyone happy.  I swear, these people only drink Crown Royal at my place.  It really is a minor investment for the priceless material that it evokes.  Just how much would you be willing to pay to learn the secret ingredient in rye, the one that gives this particular spirit its special ‘power’???  I knew the night was coming to an end when the bottle of Crown was nearly empty, and my young nephew told everyone his Dad was ‘tired’ and that his Mom would have to be the ‘VD’.  I corrected him and told him he probably meant ‘DD’.  The rosy faces of the extended family then gathered for one final picture around the tree.  Doing my duty, I took the traditional picture, and then sent the merry folk on their way.  The DD’s, or in some cases VD’s, safely chauffeuring; the goodbyes and “see you next years” all good and done.  365 days to go.  Just enough time to recover and restock.